Sunday, February 12, 2017

I love you so I won't do everything for you

I think I might be a weirdo in the eye of other parents? Ever since C&C was young (around nursery 2 if I remember correctly), I will upfront tell them that they need to go to school as I need to go to work. Cyrus normally will not ask question as he attended infant care since he was around 4 months old. Cherie, who attended childcare from 18 months old tend to question me why I need to go to work. The answer was simple! "I need to go to work to earn money to buy food for you and pay the bills! Unless you can stop eating~"  There was a parent standing at the door of the childcare when he heard me saying this to Cherie and he seems to be amazed or I shall say he was rather surprise when I said that. I even told Cherie that I need to go to work because I have a job and she also have a job which is being a student, her job is to study.

When they were in infant and toddler class few years back, bringing them to school was tough as we not only need to pack their clothes, we also need to pack diapers and bottles with milk powder. Their bag was as heavy as my school bag (hubby and I were still studying for our part-time degree while doing full-time job)... I also have an additional bag for breast pump and ice box for expressed milk for my infant son. As they grow up and are stronger now, I always force them to carry their own bag as I myself need to carry a bag to work too (cannot say this for hubby as he is always manipulated by C&C and either helps to carry their bags or carry the son...). There were a few times C&C refused to carry their own bag and I just left their bags on the floor and walked away. They will then go back to pick up their own bags and carry it home.

Even when they are playing at the playground, I tried not to helped them but encourage them to try out the facilities on their own. My point of view is very simple... I will not be around forever, you can lean on me now but you need to learnt how to do things on your own. Parents need to learnt how to let go, we won't be there for them forever. My gift of love to C&C is to train them to be independent and they should know how to stand up when they fall, not waiting for someone to give them a hand. I've always tell them: 这个世界是很残酷的、没有人有义务帮你。只有你可以帮你自己。(This world is cruel, no body is obligate to help you. Only you can help yourself.)

No comments :

Post a Comment